Bromance: demystified
“There’s a difference between a relationship and a friendship and ours is like a combination of both,” says junior Tadju Takahashi about his self-determined “bromance” with friend and fellow junior Jon Zuehlke. Recently having come into popularity, “bromance” is a term used to describe a bond between two males that is characterized by its atypically affectionate behaviors. This sort of affection exhibited in the “bromantic” relationship defies many gender stereotypes, but does this make bromantics subject to ridicule or is the bromance truly embraced by all?
“I imagine we are very similar [to a friendship between two females],” says senior Sammy Shufton about his own bromance with junior Jared Dilibero. The two’s bromance was formed only a year ago when they first met in the Aragon Improv Club. “We get each other,” says Dilibero. In fact, the two are so close that they have even developed a celebrity couple name for themselves, “Jammyshuftibero”.
Some bromances seem to be only a closer version of the average male friendship. “I’ll just go to his house and well just sit around and do something stupid on the computer for hours,” says junior Tyler Bray about his bromantic partner, junior Sam Sokolsky. “He could stay at my house for three days,” says Sokolsky. Sophomore Keith Samujh says about his bromance with fellow sophomore Max Herrera, “We’re besties. When we know something’s funny and we’re in the same class, we’ll automatically look at each other and start laughing.” “We have a lot of inside jokes,” adds Herrera.
Even so, both Bray and Sokolsky believe there is something different about this form of male friendship. “It’s just like a friendship” says Bray, and Sokolsky adds, “a special friendship.” Although they have known each other since kindergarten, their bromance took some time to develop. “It was more of a friendship then,” says Sokolsky. “A bromance is an intense thing that young kids can’t quite achieve.” Bray says, “Twenty or thirty years ago, it would have been different. Now it’s more accepted and not viewed as something bad.”
While the described bromance may sound similar to a stereotypical friendship between two girls, like Shufton states, most boys involved in a bromance disagree. “It’s definitely more manly,” says junior Kevin Dwyer, who has shared a bromance with Rahul Joshi, also a junior, ever since they were bunkmates at their sixth grade outdoor education trip. “We’d rather bump chests than give hugs.” Samujh says, “We don’t gossip,” and Herrera says, “We talk a lot about our football team.” And, engaging in a bromance is not necessarily a full-time commitment, like many may consider female friendships to be. According to Samujh, who has a girlfriend, his bromance with Herrera does not interfere with his actual relationship. “He puts his girlfriend first, which I understand,” says Herrera.
Still, affection certainly does play a large part in the bromance. Takahashi says, “We’re closer than most girls…I cuddle with Jon.” Zuehlke adds, “It’s love.” Dilibero feels similarly about his own bromance. “[Shufton and I] are definitely big on PDA.” But the affection aspect of the bromance isn’t necessarily accepted by all. Takahashi says, “Some people might think it’s gay.” “There are some guys out there that are like, ‘that’s stupid. Why would you do that?’” says Dilibero. However, what makes a bromance special may be its disregard for the opinions of others. Junior Jose Ruiz, who has been involved in a bromance with Christian Pedro, also a junior, for about a year, says, “We see each other from across the school…and we do our own little dance.” He adds, “We’re not embarrassed.”
Whether or not everybody feels comfortable with the idea of a bromance, most would agree with Sokolsky–a bromance is a “special friendship,” and is a word that cannot be used to describe just any male friendship. It is a special word for a special bond between two males that, according to Joshi, has existed for centuries. “Even Lewis and Clark had [a bromance].”
