The school year is about to end, but some decision-making still has to be made.
For some seniors, this will be the reality after they receive their diplomas. High school might be over for some students, but not the bond that they have formed with their partners. In order to continue their love, many seniors have decided to try a long-distance relationship, while others have decided to move on.
Being in a relationship at this time can bring about big questions for students who are just about to navigate the real world. Senior Jennifer Nguyen, whose boyfriend is senior Irving Chen, says, “I am…going to UC Irvine, [but] he wants to work and save some money. I [had] already applied to different UCs when I felt a little crush on him. He was not part of the plan; I did not think it would go anywhere.”
However, now that graduation is just around the corner, many like Nguyen are faced with a new kind of uncertainty.
Senior Julia Pera, whose boyfriend is senior Fede Albarracin, says, “I am leaving [for] Germany, where I am going to study. We do not believe in long-distance relationships. We are not certain of what is going to happen.”
High school relationships usually blossom because people see each other everyday. However, in a long-distance relationship, people need to conquer miles of separation.
Furthermore, conflicts can ensue when there is not enough communication. Pera says, “I know somebody in a long-distance relationship. It is really difficult for them. All they do is chat on Skype. Her boyfriend would say a joke and my friend could not really understand the tone in a chat. She will not understand it and she will get upset. I do not want my relationship through a video camera. We both agreed on that.”
Moreover, one will not have the same access to his or her partner in a long-distance relationship. Nguyen adds, “I make [my boyfriend] lunch everyday, usually pasta or fried rice. When he is sick, I come over to his house and take care of him. Also, if I do something that upsets him, he does not tell it. But, I can feel it.” This unspoken intimacy and closeness between partners might be lost with the impending changes; many partners begin to lose that “feel” as the distance and time between them increases.
However, with all the technology available, partners could feel closer to each other even if they are apart. Senior Victoria Hunt, whose boyfriend lives in Canada, says, “I met him on an Internet game called Maple Syrup. We got introduced to each other by our friends. We do video chats, IMs, and Skype. We talk about our future, fantasies, and goals.”
Nguyen, on the other hand, has planned a more traditional way of communication. She says, “I was thinking of sending him letters. I feel like letters are more personal.”
For some couples, letters may not be necessary. Seniors Shawn Murphy-Hockett and Thomas Pauly have been dating since the summer before senior year and will both be attending the University of Oregon after graduation. Murphy-Hockett says, “We made the decision apart from each other. We are going to attend college as friends. After some months or a year, we will see how we feel about each other.” Pauly adds, “We do not want to hold each other back. We want to branch out. For example, when we meet new friends and we want to hang out with them, we do not want to stop each other from going because of our obligation.”
Although having any kind of post-high school continued relationship might be difficult, it has its positives. Hunt says, “In a [close-by relationship], you cannot get away from your partner if you argue. With distance you can take a break from each other. It is also easier to maintain because there is [less] involvement of friends.”
Nyugen also supports the feasibility of maintaining a relationship after graduation. She adds, “Education is important to me. We both have the belief that you can get pretty far if you just work hard. That is the basis of me going to UC, and he supports me. I think it will work out because we have strong feelings for each other.”
At the end, the effectiveness of long distance relationship can only be evaluated by the people involved in it. For some couples, distance does not matter as long as they are both determined to keep it. However, for others, the feelings of uncertainty and loneliness can be hard to handle. Either way, graduation will certainly bring about new opportunities… and bring others to a close.
