Ramos was 14 when she got married and had her first child. “For my culture, [14] is the age you get married and start your family,” says Ramos. “We have the Quinceañera, when the girl turns 15 and the family introduces the girl to society, that she is ready to get married and she is ready to start a family. I grew up with that mentality. I was 10 years old and I felt like I was ready. I knew how to cook, I knew how to take care of my little brother, I knew how to clean the house and run the house, so I was already in charge of many responsibilities.”

When she came to the United States from Mexico at age 12, Ramos feared that she would not find a husband or be able to start a family.

“When I came to this country, I was worried. I was like, ‘I’m 12, and I don’t know anybody here. I’m never going to have a boyfriend.’ For me, it was like the end of my career. It was like I wasn’t going to find a husband. So when I got married, it was perfect. I had my wedding, I had my party. Then I had the energy to raise my kids because I was young.”

The joy of starting her family was soon met with by the fear of being expelled from school due to pregnancy. “…In Mexico, if you’re pregnant you get kicked out of school. But then my social worker called me in and she said, ‘Don’t you want to study?’ I was shocked to hear that they wanted me to continue with my education. I thought they did not know that I was pregnant and was a married woman.”

Ramos made the decision to continue her studies at school. “I loved school. I like the challenges,” says Ramos.

Despite having made the decision to stay in school during her first pregnancy, Ramos remained hesitant of her ability to stay in school when she became pregnant with her second son.

“I went to the office and asked to see my counselor and said I wanted to go to a special high school where teenagers can still go when they’re expecting a baby. They asked me why I wanted to go. I said I wanted to go before I started showing my stomach and before they kick me out. I didn’t want to be embarrassed. I didn’t want kids and students and teachers to point at me or make fun of me.

“My counselor said, ‘There is no code, no rule or something that says you need to go to a special high school. You can continue high school at your regular high school,’”

Smiling from ear to ear, Ramos remembers her reaction upon hearing that she could stay at her regular high school. “I was very excited. I guess not too many students knew about this information. I remember that I stopped seeing some of my friends, and I didn’t know until years later that they got pregnant and so they left. So when I got this information, I decided to stay. Later on, I heard comments like, ‘Oh my gosh! She’s pregnant!’ and I was like ‘Uh, yeah, pregnant. This is my second one, okay?’ I was so proud. I never felt shame or tried to hide it.”

Ramos soon became a pioneer of sorts for other pregnant girls at her school. It was not commonly known that girls would be allowed to stay in school while pregnant. “After that, girls were not leaving school. They were starting to stay in regular high school while pregnant. It wasn’t like I was a bad influence like some people might have thought. You can still get educated; [being pregnant] is no excuse.”

Being able to stay in school was a joyful experience, but was nonetheless teeming with challenges.

“I had to manage my class work with my baby needs. If I had to memorize formulas for my math class, I would memorize them while I was feeding my baby. I would have my notebook next to me, feed the baby, and close my eyes to memorize it. Then I would check to see if I got it right. When I had to write something, I had two hours. Usually babies sleep two hours, and every two hours you have to feed them. So I had two wonderful hours to do my writing. Once he woke up, then I had to change my homework to memorizing my English vocabulary or math formulas or physics. I had to find tricks so I could do it.”

“Later on when he was growing up, I couldn’t do that anymore. I had to take him to the park, make sure that he was tired so [that] when we got home he would go to sleep. So then around 10 p.m. I would do my homework. I would go to bed really late. That’s why I don’t accept late homework, because I would go to bed around three or four in the morning to meet my deadlines. I never wanted to use my baby as an excuse to not do my homework. It was my responsibility and my decision to have a family, and it was my decision to go to school. I had to meet deadlines just like anyone else.”

“Every year was harder when I was in high school. I didn’t even think I could go to college. It was too expensive. But then one of my counselors … told me I could get scholarships. I followed all the steps they told me and I got accepted and got scholarships. That’s how I was able to pay for my education. I didn’t get loans. They see your attendance, your GPA. So even as a student with two babies, my highest GPA was 3.7. I was so close to getting straight A’s. I was so proud of myself. I actually got higher grades than my friends who didn’t have families to care for.”

Regarding advice for the next generation, Ramos would tell her students at Aragon the same thing she tells her own children.

“I don’t recommend them to get married. That’s something I tell my own kids. I cannot even imagine them getting married in high school. I tell them that in the end it’s their decision, but that’s not going to be an excuse to stop going to school. There are always opportunities, and they should take them. I don’t want them to stop dreaming.”

Aragon English teacher Holly Dietz was 17 years old when she gave birth to her first and only child, Adam.

Regarding teen mother stereotypes, Dietz says that television programs such as “Teen Mom” are possible sources of such stereotypes.

“People might think of teen moms as being more promiscuous than other girls. There may be a sense there might be a classist view of her. Maybe they expect her not to be educated,” says Dietz. “That is the number [one] stereotype that I don’t fit … I had a private education at a very exclusive prep school my whole life … I don’t think a lot of girls who get pregnant have that going behind them. That made everything else in my life fall into place.”

Dietz says that there was never a doubt in her mind that she would someday go to college.

“When I finished my junior year, I was in AP Chemistry, AP Biology, AP English … I was prepared for school.”

Before taking a break year, and eventually attending the University of California at Berkeley, Dietz left home in the Midwest to live in Southern California. There, Dietz spent the second half of her junior year earning enough credits to graduate early.

“I moved to California because I had married my son’s father. We moved in with his mom in Southern California. I ended up transferring to a school that was the opposite of the other school I went to. This was one of the lowest performing schools in the state of California. They didn’t allow homework on the weekends because the kids had to go work in the fields.”

At her new school, Dietz kept to herself and did not socialize much with her peers.

“I left everybody and everything I knew, and I didn’t really make any friends at all. I was small enough pregnant that nobody really knew. I just wore loose clothes. Only the teachers knew.”

One of the main challenges of being in school while pregnant was a physical one.

“I was sick, sick, sick, the whole time. I frequently had to jump up and run to the bathroom to throw up … it’s not glamorous. I was tired all the time.”

After graduating in September of what would have been her senior year of high school, Dietz took a year off from school, as she was not accepted to Berkeley the first time she applied.

“That year was very difficult. We were really poor. The two of us lived on $10,000 in one year. It may sound like a lot of money, but it’s nothing. We had no furniture. There was no going to the movies, there was no hiring a babysitter … Sometimes there was not enough food.”

It was also difficult for Dietz to be a stay-at-home mother while her husband was a freshman at Berkeley.

“It was tough because [my husband] was in school, and he was meeting people and learning, and doing all of that college stuff, and I was at home watching Oprah and being poor. It was very bleak.”

Dietz remembers going to a car dealership with her husband.

“We showed up with our baby. You could tell immediately that the guys at the car shop … were like, ‘Oh, look at these guys,’ … I remember sitting there. The more I tried to be mature and seem bright and seem not the stereotype, the more I could feel it settling on me more and more in this man’s eyes. I turned to [my husband] and said, ‘Get me out of here. This is horrible.’”

One year later, Dietz was accepted to Berkeley and started as a freshman. Things began to get better once she went back to school. However, Dietz had to navigate her first semester as a single mother.

“It involved a lot of throwing together a plan to make it through the day. My husband and I separated a week before I started. We did not have childcare in place for that first semester. For that first semester, I put all my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. His father had him on the Tuesdays and on Thursdays and I had to figure out what to do with him during class. Sometimes I would bring him to class, sometimes I would get a friend to watch him. Every week, I would skip at least one of the classes … It was kind of crazy.”

“When I think about that first semester when I was running around trying to get my education, I think a lot of times I got through things just because I didn’t realize that they were harder than what most people were facing.”

Towards the end of her freshman year, Dietz began to receive help from her parents in caring for her son. “Let it be clear, I was the one who wouldn’t let them [help],” says Dietz.

“As soon as I was receptive to any help, they were willing to help. I was the one keeping them at arm’s distance.”

In contrast to the struggles and difficulties of learning to be a young mother while staying in school, Dietz comments on the positive side of having a child at a young age.

“It’s amazing to be 42 and my son is 23. I think I made the wise choice not to have any more, so that is giving me a second lease on life right now. Almost everyone I know has young children at home, and I get to go and play. And now I have more money and I’m more established, so I think the play is more fun. I just adore my relationship with my son. We’re really close.”

Dietz explains that her experience as a young mother has changed her perception of teens and the capacities of young people.

“Young people sometimes think it is impossible to view the world in a mature way, that they’re wrong just by virtue of being young, that they’re not capable of pulling off something complex and difficult. It’s just impossible for me to see it that way. My son came to me and said, ‘Mom, it’s my senior year, I don’t think I should have a curfew.’ I was like, ‘I don’t know about that, Adam.’ He just looks at me. ‘Okay, you were one by the time I was your age. So if I was raising a child and keeping a home, I guess maybe you can handle no curfew.’ It forever changed the way that I see young people and what they’re capable of. Adam and I grew up together. We are close in a way that I’m really lucky that we stayed close through difficult times.”

Dietz mentions another positive aspect of being closer in age to her son. “It’s really fun when I visit him in college and I’m way younger than the other moms. It’s kind of funny. They’ll sort of accept me.”

“I’m lucky. I have had many, many people kindly and generously reach out a hand to help me. I’m lucky in that way to know that I have that in my life. People tend to be kind to me.”

“When I look back, I think ‘Oh my god, girl. You are strong.’ I just can’t believe that I didn’t quit. I don’t know what quitting would have looked like. Maybe it just wasn’t an option.”

Aragon student, prospective registered nurse, and mother. Now a senior at Aragon, Rosie (whose name has been changed to maintain her privacy) became pregnant at the age of 14 and gave birth to her daughter at 15.

Rosie says, “I was scared knowing that I was young and had a long way to go, but I still got through it. My mom [was my main point of support] because when I found out I was pregnant, she told me she would be with me and help me out with anything that I needed.”

In light of the rising popularity of shows like “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant,” many people have false perceptions of teen pregnancy, but these stereotypes often lack basis in actual teen mothers’ experiences.

“When I think of teenage pregnancy, I basically think about my own life, but everyone is different. Everyone has their own story,” says Rosie. “All the teen pregnancy shows on TV are just drama. Everything is so hard for them. They don’t have anything stable.”

In fact, Rosie’s experience as a teenage mother proved to be quite different from the stereotypical ostracism and discrimination that the media portrays.

Rosie says, “Actually, during my pregnancy, people were actually like, ‘Oh, you’re pregnant. You look cute.’ It was their first time seeing a teenage mom, but they weren’t like, ‘Oh, she’s pregnant, so she’s probably doing bad things,’ or, ‘Her parents aren’t taking care of her.’ I thought it was going to be bad … but people were really nice.”

Rosie continues, “I didn’t know any other [teenage moms] until I went to Pen. I transferred there for when I was pregnant and I came back [to Aragon] during my sophomore year.”

Pen, or Peninsula Alternative High School, is a school in the San Mateo Union High School District primarily for students who need extra credits for graduation, but also for students with special circumstances, such as Rosie.

Rosie says, “I liked it at Pen. Everyone was really friendly and all the moms had their own little class. We learned, you know, what to do, what to expect, what to do after the baby. The people in my class had different opinions [from people who weren’t pregnant] because they were my age, too. So, it was a different world. It was really lovable and everyone really understood everything you said. They got what you meant, and other people don’t.”

Rosie continues, “It was hard [to deal with academics] because I had to miss a lot of school depending on how I was feeling … I had to do a lot of work while I was home, but once I got better, I was fine. I got everything done and all my classes were fine.”

Now back at Aragon, Rosie again finds herself balancing being both a high school student and a mom.

Rosie says, “Since my mom and [I] were pregnant at the same time, I have a little sister, so [my sister and my daughter] are a month apart. My mom said she might as well take care of both of them while I’m at school because that’s the important part for my future.”

Rosie says, “If I have homework or something, I usually try to get it done [at Aragon] during lunch or any time that I have. So then I have work, and once I’m off, I have time for her … My social life is pretty much just at school because once I’m out, its just [my daughter]. I focus on just her.”

As a mom, Rosie finds herself planning for the future more than she had in the past.

Rosie says, “My plans after graduating are to go to college. I want to be a registered nurse. I got into that after having my baby and taking her to the doctor and seeing all the things [at the doctor’s]. I would really like to live somewhere with me and [my daughter], like a nice family. Something that will keep her going, to show her that I actually had a hard life, but I did it for her.”

Rosie continues, “After having my baby, I knew that I had to have a plan. I couldn’t just go with the flow, I had to have something to do. That made me want to get something stable.” Rosie concludes, “[This experience] made me a stronger person. It made me somewhere I want to be … I think that if you have a dream, you should go for it.”