“Will you go to prom with me?”
This refrain, in one form or another, will be uttered or drawn, written or sung countless times between now and prom on April 11, as more and more students seek out dates. Few, however, will simply ask the question.
When asking someone to prom, or “promposing,” creativity is key. Everything from calculators to singing to getting dozens of people to spell out “Prom?” with their bodies is fair game. Many considerations must be taken into account for these extravagant askings: how public should it be? Should an inside joke be used? Is it better to ask in private or in front of a class? These questions, as critical as they may be for those planning out a complicated way to prom-pose to someone, fail to get at the bigger question; why is it that promposals are so drastically different from askings to all the other dances?
According to senior Nick Lansang, the value placed on prom is what makes these askings so important. Says Lansang, “We’ve been told practically our whole lives that prom is one of the biggest events of our high school lives.”
My friend, senior Jackie Pei explains, “Prom is one of those defining moments in high school … You hear about proms more than about homecomings or formals.”
Moreover, for seniors, prom is the last high school dance. After prom, everything will change, as we leave our younger friends behind to go off to college. And so, everyone wants it to be absolutely perfect.
Like Pei and Lansang said, prom is a critical moment in high school life. This need to attain the lofty expectations of such a defining moment starts with the promposal. If this final asking is not good enough, the rest of the memory could be tainted. Therefore, prom askings are huge and creative—for the memory of prom to be complete, the promposal must first be memorable. For many students, “memorable” means “public.”
However, student feelings on public promposals themselves tend to be cautious. As senior Erik Harden claims, “You have to be brave enough because if the person says no, you have to sit there and take it while everyone stares at you.”
Lansang points out another flaw in asking someone publicly. He says, “I think it’s cute, but it forces the girl to accept. I feel like if you’re really close to the person, it could be appropriate.”
Courage, while necessary to ask someone to prom in front of a class, is not the most important ingredient in a successful promposal. The thing that matters more than anything else is simply knowing the person.
As Pei explains, “Some girls are more comfortable when they know the guy’s going to ask. It depends on the girl.”
Oftentimes, the most extravagant or complicated promposals are those made by a person in a relationship. The reasoning behind this amount of effort is simple: students want to show that they value the person they are dating, and one way to do that is with a big, noticeable promposal.
Moreover, above-and-beyond promposals are seemingly expected of those who are dating. Everyone already knows that couples will go together, so the only mystery there is how one of them will end up asking the other.
Despite these added pressures, a good promposal should be even easier for someone in a relationship, because they (hopefully) know exactly what the other person would be comfortable with, and they do not have to worry about getting turned down. Therefore, couples can relax about prom. They already have found a date, and they know what that date would like in an asking. Don’t stress out about having to do the biggest, most talked about promposal in the school—this is not a competition. Instead, just make it fun for the person you are asking.
So before making a deal with the jazz band or hiring a pilot to put letters in the sky, get to know what the person being asked would want.
