After sophomore Isha Patel’s older sister left for California Polytechnic University in Pomona, she felt that the house had become silent and lonely. As many like Patel have experienced, the departure of an older sibling presents new possibilities for the younger sibling—having more space in the house, inheriting house duties, or gaining the ability to exercise more freedom.
Patel says, “The first week without her didn’t really feel like she was gone. It was quiet [at home], and it was nice to be productive.”
While the initial separation may feel normal, more time apart often leads many siblings to value each other to a greater extent.
Sophomore Caitlyn Chan, who has two older sisters: Kristin, who graduated from UC Berkeley and Lauren, who attends UC San Diego, says, “I didn’t miss my sisters during the first year as much as the second year. When we were younger, we fought a lot and were distant. Now, we are close and cherish our time together.”
Additionally, maintaining communication makes transitions more manageable.
“I feel okay because even if I don’t see my sister, I can still text her. She’s not that far, but I do like seeing her and being able to talk to her,” says Patel.
The departure may also result in changes in family dynamics. “When we eat dinner, it’s more like everyone eats by themselves,” says freshman Nathan Ten.
“I’m not home a lot after school, and we don’t eat as many family dinners. I spend more time in my room. Without my sisters, I feel lonely,” says Chan.
Siblings may also experience changes to their daily lifestyles. “I don’t have to do my chores immediately, so I become more lazy, since he usually tells me to do all the chores,” says Ten. “It gives me more freedom.”
The departure of the older sibling may also signify an increase in freedom for other family members. “I go to a lot of movies with my parents now, and it’s a little bit odd not having my brother around, but at the same time, it’s nice because he didn’t like to eat a lot of food, so now we can eat whatever we want,” says junior Nathan Tolfa.
On the other hand, junior Bryant Lin notes a decrease in freedom. “I actually have less freedom because my parents were more focused on my brother when he was here,” says Lin. “Now that I am the center of attention in my family, I can’t go out as much as I’d like to.”
As such, the departure of college-bound siblings brings new experiences for sibling and family alike.
