“Distance is just difficult,” said senior Tilman Voorsanger, describing the difficulty he had dating his ex-girlfriend, who attended a school in San Francisco. “It doesn’t matter if you initially love a person. If you’re just around the person a lot, some feeling is created. So, with a distance, we don’t have that innate ability to develop a relationship through time and interactions.”
Dating someone from a different school can often feel like a long-distance relationship. Even though the geographic separation may be small, not seeing a significant other at school can put strain on the relationships.
Sophomore Gabby Mangano recently transferred from Burlingame High School, the school attended by her boyfriend.
“[I’m not] able to see him every day,” Mangano said. “We used to be able to do homework together, but now aren’t able to do [that] because we’re studying different things. We can’t hang out right after school. He has to come here and pick me up.”
Mangano noticed these smaller changes because she experienced going to the same school as her boyfriend, but Voorsanger, who never went to the same school as his ex-girlfriend, saw the broader challenges of their relationship.
“Not only does she go to a different school, but she’s up in the city, so she was a half-an-hour drive away,” Voorsanger said. “[It] is kind of painful because, as opposed to someone who has a girlfriend or boyfriend within school where you get to see them every day and have that interaction … I got to see her twice a week and in order to get to her, I had to drive half an hour.”
Despite the many challenges, there are also many benefits that come along with going to different schools than a significant other. Junior Danny Navarrete sees how going to a different school than his girlfriend is better for both of their other relationships.
“We’re both really busy, so sometimes it’s hard to see each other, but personally, I like it,” Navarrete said. “Obviously, we have different friend groups, so if we were both here, either one of us would be with a different friend group instead of our own friend group or just hanging out with each other all day.”
Mangano attributes some of the success of her relationship to the distance as well.
“I used to go to school with [my boyfriend], and we didn’t date until after I transferred,” Mangano said. “I think that that played a part in [our relationship] because I guess I didn’t see [him as a romantic interest] when he was a part of my everyday life.”
Sophomore Ben Judd also sees some benefits of attending a different school than his girlfriend, who attends San Mateo High School.
“Since we don’t hang out at school, there seems to be less drama with our relationship and other people,” Judd said. “When we hang out, it’s more of a private situation rather than school, which has other people around all the time and is more public.”
The internet has also made it easier to stay connected with a significant other who does not go to the same school.
“[My boyfriend and I make up for lost time with] FaceTime and a lot of social media,” said sophomore Julianna Enriquez. “Social media is kind of a big part of how we connect and communicate with each other.”
Dating people from a different school is sometimes difficult, as partners have to find new ways for communication and creative methods of spending quality time with each other. However, it also opens the potential for people to branch out and connect with others who they would might not otherwise meet.
