Every day senior Brooklyn Field walks around the Aragon campus with her body disconnected from her mind. As a transgender female, Field often has trouble coping with her dysphoria as she is not treated like other females.
Field feels pain from the social and psychological challenges that she goes through daily, one of them being surrounded by people who don’t address her the way in which she identifies. Many factors influence the mental health of people like Field who are not cisgender; a major one is misgendering.
Misgendering is referring to a transgender, nonbinary or gender nonconforming person with language that does not align with their affirmed gender.
People who have discriminatory beliefs about the LGBTQ+ community use misgendering as a form of harassment, but is more frequently unintentional because of a misunderstanding or assumption of someone’s gender. Regardless, it is a prevalent issue that negatively affects the LGBTQ+ community.
According to National Alliance on Mental Illness, LGBTQ+ individuals are almost three times more likely to experience a mental health condition such as depression or an anxiety disorder than others.
“[Dysphoria causes] a lot of stress, Field said. “[You are] concerned that you’re not passing and that you don’t look like a cisgender person.”
These misgendered students can experience many psychological effects such as insecurity that could negatively impact mental health.
“I don’t know exactly how to describe it, but it’s just a deep pain [to be misgendered],” Field said. “It sort of destroys my faith in humanity to a certain point and makes me just a little more afraid of leaving the house the next day.”
“It sort of destroys my faith in humanity to a certain point and makes me just a little more afraid of leaving the house the next day”
Carlmont senior Ry Lei uses the pronouns they/them/their and also often experiences misgendering.
“[Being misgendered] can be really disheartening,” Lei said. “Honestly there are days when it just gets to a point where I’m just too tired to correct people.”
Some of these cases have been reported to Health and Wellness counselors, who try to help students cope with the negative effects.
“The effects of misgendering can include, but are not limited to, feelings of anxiety and sadness, low self-esteem, negative body image and isolation from family and friends,” said wellness counselor Jill Ma. “It can have very layered affects, and can significantly vary by individual.”
Many teachers have already implemented ways to prevent misgendering at school. At the start of the year, AP U.S. History teacher Heather Sadlon has all of her students fill out a form asking for their preferred gender pronouns such as he/him/his, her/she/hers and they/them/theirs.
“For me, asking that question is helpful because then they can do it without necessarily coming to talk to me because they don’t know me yet,” she said. “Usually for some people they need to be more comfortable with somebody before. So I think asking this question without having them to directly confront me can make it easier for them.”
Not only does it make it easier for the student to communicate with the teacher, it also allows the teacher to give support and the student to recognize that their identity isn’t being ignored.
“It’s really unfair for those who don’t fit in [the binary] mold,” Sadlon said. “Recognizing who they are and letting them know that I see them on the first day of school is important. It sets a tone.”
Aside from teachers asking for preferred pronouns beforehand, other steps have already been taken to make the community more gender inclusive and all-gender affirming. Since 2015, Gender and Sexuality Awareness club officers have been talking to health classes and informing student about the gender spectrum and gender fluidity. Wellness counselor Staysha Veal said raising awareness in the community is important to increase sensitivity.
“We’re trying to do things to support them whether it be through admin or in class, so we’re just trying to promote knowledge,” said wellness counselor Staysha Veal. “Once we promote knowledge, people become more sensitive. There are so many different levels that we try to support students around this topic.”
However, misgendering is still a prevalent issue that many students and teachers do not know about. It’s often seen as something new to society and something that people have to learn and adapt to.
Especially for students who have not been exposed to the gender spectrum or are unaware that one of their peers has recently come out or transitioned, remembering to use their classmates preferred pronouns can be difficult.
“I think misgendering is a problem at school largely because of unawareness, not because of malice,” said junior Ryan Talvola. “It is simply an ingrained habit for a lot of people to use the standard he/she pronouns, and I do not think this is because of any sort of homophobia.”
For people who have been taught their whole lives that gender is rigid and binary, gendering people based on their appearance can come automatically. However, a better understanding about gender differences can help people become more aware of the use of different pronouns to show respect to the LGBTQ+ community.
“It’s just important to be kind and not insult others,” Field said. “The best way [to promote gender inclusivity] is just to respect people and make the space safe so that [they] can feel safe being themselves.”
Only a few people at work use my pronouns but everyone else including my family don’t I’m he him his ftm I’m transitioning but nobody cared how I feel nobody cares to do research on how it makes me feel I feel rejected by my mum cuz even though she supports me she won’t try to practice Using them I begged her nicely to at least try I know it’s hard for her but it’s harder for me I constantly feel disgusted and I fill inside as if every inside is be bashed with a hammer inside me every time I’m misgendered
I’m tired I’m very tired it’s been becoming to much