Reporting by Emma Shen and Hannah Li.
*This article contains sensitive content, including self harm.
Names have been changed to protect source privacy.
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“The first time I tried mushrooms, it was very much a raw kind of feeling,” said senior *Samuel. “I felt very in touch with my surroundings; everything felt very elevated.”
Samuel first started using psychedelics a few months ago, and enjoys them in moderation. Most commonly known through forms such as psilocybin “magic” mushrooms, MDMA and LSD, psychedelics are a subclass of hallucinogenic drugs that can alter a person’s sense of reality, affecting their emotions, cognitive processes and sense of time.
“It was very relaxing and I felt a lot less agitated,” Samuel said. “I noticed things that normally would get on my nerves were easier for me to let go, so I could be more at peace and in the moment with myself.”
With emerging research on psychedelic therapy, particularly as a treatment for mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and alcoholism, psychedelic usage has grown increasingly popular, prompting the decriminalization of psychedelics in California cities including Oakland, San Francisco and Santa Cruz.
Nathanael Carroll Horton, director of services at the Psychedelic Club of San Mateo and 2004 Aragon graduate, is one such advocate of the regulated legalization of psychedelics and psychedelic therapy, having begun using them to deal with his depression at the time.
“Senior year of high school, I wasn’t connecting with people [and] I was very isolated,” Horton said. “I avoided others because people are dangerous — they could turn on me, they could hit me, they could yell at me, which happened at home. I developed mental trauma, and that shapes your psychology for life, [along with] your immune system, your susceptibility to stress, depression, anxiety and chronic pain. Things perked up when I went to Brown [University], but then tanked [even though] I went through all the traditional methods of treating depression.”
Usage
Similar to Samuel, Horton had an overwhelmingly positive experience with psychedelics, although his first trip was an accident.
“[I was] on this medication called effexor, [that] can have MDMA-like effects, [and] it induced a mystical episode,” Horton said. “I thought I was Jesus Christ — very confusing since I was an atheist. I stopped the medication, but then I was depressed again. My twenties were a bit of a mess [and by] the end, I started developing chronic pain [and] fibromyalgia. At that point, it was disabling and I was desperate; I turned to psychedelics. The first thing that got rid of all my pain, for a whole evening, was MDMA. It gave me the will to live again and [made me think], why aren’t my doctors giving me this? This is healing.”
Psychedelic microdosing, the practice of consuming very low doses of psychedelics, has gained popularity, particularly within the Bay Area. Studies show that it can be used to improve mental health, focus and creativity, among other things, but more research must be conducted.
“People will put shrooms in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, for example,” said junior *Julian. “You put enough to hit you, but not too much to the point where you could possibly [overdose].”
Dangers
Yet, psychedelic use can be risky. Taking a large or strong batch of psychedelics can result in “bad trips,” disturbing hallucinations that may cause excessive fear, agitation or mood swings.
“[When] I was in my mid twenties, I was reckless and desperate to treat my depression [since] no medications were helping me,” Horton said. “I used a concentrated form of salvia divinorum, which is in the mint family [and has hallucinogenic effects]. It was so powerful that I passed out.”
Horton describes his experience as otherworldly.
“The whole world was ripped away [and] I was spiraling into darkness,” Horton said. “I saw my mother [and] my brother, who I’m closest to in my family, wave goodbye to me. There was this idea presented to me that was like, ‘you want to be on a real psychedelic trip, you want to see what reality actually is? I’ll show you reality.’ It was my first out of body experience, [but] I was conscious of the nothingness. It was kind of terrifying, kind of boring, [and] it was kind of a relief because I felt like it was very honest.”
Horton reflects that despite the negative effects, the trip was effective in treating his depression.
“One benefit that came out of it, besides the wonder and the terrible awe-inspiring part of it, [was that] after seeing all this emptiness, I didn’t really want to kill myself anymore,” Horton said. “Because if I killed myself, it would just be nothing. And nothing’s really boring, so if [my life] really is an illusion, it’s [still] a nicer story. So I might as well do my best, live the life I got and keep trying to heal.”
Culture
While Horton’s experience led to intense derealization, some Aragon students see bad trips as the exemption, not the rule — making them more interested than intimidated.
“[Psychedelics are] looked at in a more positive way than negative,” said senior *Kit. “None of my friends have had bad trips; they’ve all had really good experiences. Some said it feels like a better high [than weed] and they can see and feel colors. As I’ve heard [these] stories, I get more comfortable with it and closer to wanting to experience it for myself. Weed is my go to, but I’ve been getting bored of it, [so] I want to do [psychedelics] at some point in my life.”
On the other hand, many students are still hesitant to try psychedelics due to the powerful and adverse outcomes of a bad trip.
“I want to do it one time just to experience it, but it’s scary because it’s way stronger than anything you would be able to get over the counter,” Julian said. “It’s kind of a gray area, it’s like, ‘what it’s gonna do to me?’ Not many people know about it; it’s not as popular as weed or drinking.”
Some are concerned due to the inherently negative connotations of psychedelics, being a drug.
“Unless for medical purposes, I think all drugs are bad,” said sophomore *Rebecca. “[Drugs] hinder your brain and our ability to think and comprehend things is what makes us human. It depends on the context that you’re using psychedelics in, but I’ve known of using medical psychedelics and that backfiring on people, because [they] become addicted and can’t even live without psychedelics at times.”
Rebecca has seen the detrimental effects firsthand, having a cousin who was a psychedelic user.
“My cousin took psychedelics when she was a teenager and it ended up in her breaking ties with our family,” Rebecca said. “She’s in and out of rehab constantly and no matter what she always turns to it. She’s constantly lying to her family, just to buy more and more psychedelics, and it ruined [their] relationship and trust.”
Effects
Adolescents using psychedelics take particularly high risks, as developing brains are susceptible to forming neural pathways for drug usage that follow into adulthood. Once established, they may lead to lifelong addiction and consequences such as memory loss and declining cognitive abilities.
“If [your brain] thinks something’s important to you, it’s going to create a fast, strong pathway [for it] in [the] adult brain,” said Dr. Jessamy Cadigan, a wellness counselor and Substance Use Prevention facilitator. “So if a young person is putting a lot of drugs in their brain at this time, it’s easier to addict because of the developmental stage, and it’s harder to unaddict. 90% of all people who go to treatment for drug and alcohol problems started using when they were teens; it’s a timing issue.”
Horton echoes this.
“Unless you have a real clinical concern, like depression, and it’s a greater risk for you to be unhealthy and unable to move forward in your life as a young adult, I don’t see any reason to rush into a psychedelic journey,” Horton said. “I would start with education [so you have] enough background to know some of the basics. Otherwise, it’s worth waiting until you’re older. It can be a really beautiful experience but you’ve got to know what you’re doing.”
It’s important to remember that psychedelics are classified as Schedule I drugs, with a high potential for abuse, and are not approved for medical purposes.
“Don’t give drugs to other people,” Horton said. “Even if you think you’re going to help them, you don’t know their circumstances, their mental health history, their trauma, their personality type, [or if] they’re neurotic. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You could give some drug to somebody because you think you’re helping with their depression, but without any preparation [or] screening during the experience and integration, it could go sideways.”
